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STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS
Thirty Minutes To Ponder Life
No time to waste, let’s get moving.
Emily Ann Mark wanted me to do this. I’m feeling guilty about not working on the idea we came up with together, so here goes.
It’s exactly 9 PM on a Monday, and there are a million things I can be doing. I’m sure I’ll be putting off most of them. I might be the most productive, least productive person out there.
Life has been interesting lately. I am fully separated from my ex and living in my own household. The mediation is done. The house is sold. My bank account is in therapy. But I still have resources that most don’t. I get reminded of that every day at work.
It’s nice to be able to control the domicile. No fights, no arguments, just myself, my pup (still somewhat spry nearly 13 years of age) and my kids. I feel safe for the first time in a long while.
Sometimes it gets quiet — too quiet in the apartment. When the kids aren’t around, when I don’t have multiple jobs going at the same time.
I am thinking about investing almost every day. I let those thoughts consume me for nearly two years. I spend an inordinate amount of time wondering how I can make sure that my children don’t have the future I had to face. Wondering if I can add an extra…