Let’s Turn Everything Into Sectarian Religions in Order To Convert Our Unenumerated Rights Into Enumerated Rights!

Recently, the United States Supreme Court bench, which leans conservaligulous (Thomas, Alito, Coney Barrett, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, Roberts), decided that any right that isn’t enumerated in the Constitution is fair game and can lose its protection under the law. Thus, they overturned the longstanding precedent set during the 1973 Roe v. Wade ruling. What’s the tried and true solution to religious overreach? The answer is to dilute power structures by creating more religions! Fun! The Satanic Temple has developed a tried and true strategy that has been successful. When Evangelicals or other conservative groups put up a statute of the Ten Commandments on government property, The Satanic Temple puts up a statue of Baphomet, the goat-headed god of The Medieval Period. In short, they out-religion the religion that is being given preference. Baphomet is often confused with Satan by people who don't read their holy book and can’t be bothered to. It’s an understandable problem though, because the second Dr. Strange movie was recently released on Disney+ and the most recent Stranger Things season was also released on Netflix. There are much more interesting things to do than read about who begat whom.

Hopefully, we can get back to criticizing vanity social media accounts for pets, but this is what’s relevant now. No offense intended to Smoothie the cat on Instagram. I will drop everything and come to your catnip-fueled mansion…